No News is Good News!

Disclaimer : No journalist or media-person was harmed during the making of this blog post.

You wake up everyday. I’m sure you woke up today, too. Once you are done with that, you get started with your routine. And one of the commonest human rituals is to read newspaper or to switch on the TV for news. (Unless you are one of those lucky people who are illiterate but content with their mundane ignorance!) Now, if your day begins with news, what does it say about you as a person? You are curious? Yup, always been. Want to stay abreast of current affairs? Great!

But what exactly do you do with all that you read and learn and watch presented under the garb of news? Nothing, in most cases. Following news is just another evolutionary practice inculcated into our daily life for knowledge’s sake. There is not much one can do about a majority of stuff out there on the paper or screen. So why are we so fond of news, be it good or bad? Because we are an entertainment-loving species and news is gossip presented in a very refined manner. As elementary as that.

On a personal scale, I relish half-baked truths. I have them for breakfast daily. The French in me calls it biscuit. They call it news. To add to the misery, I read something or the other every morning which tells me I should quit reading them. But I never do. In fact, the recent events revolving around Barkha Dutt, and the 2G scam... made me realize that even some of the oldest media giant might go down for news. Meanwhile, I’ve got no doubt that the world would miraculously change for the better the day we stopped reading newspapers. But then, even if I switched to TV, I’d still be hopeless. After all, in India, the thin line separating TV news from TV soaps is almost invisible now. And this has been the case long before India TV decided to put the media in comedian.

You see, there might be absolutely nothing out there to report but our media will beautifully turn it into news for gab-hungry masses. Anyone can create news out of thin air. If nothing else works, the media can report on the thinness of the air. [No, wait, the weather bureau is already doing that, aren’t they?] Moreover, watching news destroys a few of those newsworthy moments that could have been ours. Being the minions that we are, we’ll never know what is true and what is being reported as true. Unfortunately, rumours won't give up on news at any cost and vice versa. Fortunately, the spread of fire will never catch up with the spread of its news.

One lesson newspaper teaches us every single day – better not believe every crap you read. Times changes, perceptions changes and of course, news changes. Remember when they got Osama (at last) and how he got killed by breaking news? No one was allowed to see his face nor his dead body but we somehow managed to gulp the shoddy information of his demise. At that moment, the less you looked out for news, the more you’re convinced of the sheer wastage of time and energy.

And the hard part is when they collect too many viewpoints at once and make you look confused than a newborn dinosaur. Goes without saying, the plural of news is nuisance. As a part of social experiment, we should read last week's newspapers and ascertain its relevance in present day, if at all. Or not check news, at all.

You’ll never come across a channel which will go “We’ve got breaking news for you! Damn. We just broke it!” That’s the whole point. There’s hardly anything sacred about truth or news or journalism at large. I don’t mean to sound cynical but everything is commerce now-a-minutes. And the day each one of us is happy is the day news dies.

The Mumbai 'Local' Mob..

Mumbai is one of those cities where life moves faster than excuses. 

Every one is in a hurry. Here, we don’t have time for rationality about speed and deadline. 

We just work. We just do our jobs and move on to our houses for a good night sleep. 

That’s pretty much the case in almost every other metropolitan city, which is fueled by dreams and ambitions of gigantic proportion.

Mumbai is fast thanks to two reasons:

One. Coz of it’s local trains and other is the people traveling in it. They both compliment each other, pretty perfectly. 

The crowd and hustle-bustle that comes with these trains in Mumbai is a legend of sorts that can’t be ignored. People literally breathe into each other’s lungs with hardly the space to share fresh air. 

According to Wikipedia, more than 5,000 passengers are packed into a 9-car rake during peak hours, as against the rated carrying capacity of 1,700. Literally, that means, 14 to 16 passengers are standing on each square meter of floor space.

Now, imagine you are one of those 14 to 16 passengers stacked in that bogey and the train stops in middle of track. How do you feel? The answer is simple.
You are utterly frustrated, distressed and would want to break free. 

There could be hundreds of reasons for that train to stop there. It could be failure of signal or could be overlapping of time schedule thus creating a case of traffic. It could be anything but we forget a more occurring possibility there.

It could be due to a passenger who was hanging on the foot-board a while ago, but accidentally bumped into the passing steel structures or it could be someone who just slipped off the least of support he had.

It’s a mere coincidence that in a city of 14 million people, around 4000 people die due to accidents related to trains every single year.

I came across such incident just a week ago... when the train stopped abruptly on the 8-km distance track (which is the longest distance between two stations in whole of Mumbai) creating a flutter of anxiety. 

As I was hanging on the foot-board like ‘Tarzans of Bombay’ do, I could see it quiet clearly why the train pulled the brake. It was a bloodied man lying on the side of the track. The man was in severe pain and was lifted by 3 men from Railways into the furthest bogey that the motorman occupies.

I’m glad I witnessed this,
but I just wonder, that it could be me or you the next time we hang onto the overcrowded train on a one footed support, to fight time and deadline!...


To Fight Time and Deadline... Seriously? :/ 

The "Once Upon A Time" sorta Thing ..

In a faraway land (No, Not the places Dora, The Explorer shows us), there once dwelled a vain Princess, who had nothing to do, except look forward to her Prince Charming

She was hypnotized to do so by some creepy writer who thought it was soo literary-like to dictate a lady whose only claim to distinction was her fair smooth skin and long golden locks.

As scripted, she patiently waited by the window, Day in and Day out...
She hoped PC would arrive someday on a White Horse (Which aptly makes her a bit racist!) and help escape her moribund existence.

Of course, she wasn’t sure what kind of life PC might provide her once she hops on to sidesaddle him. But the fact that she didn’t know how to clean or cook kept her confidence high and expectations low.

More or less, the future was bound to be better out there on the wrong side of window.

Holding all these reasons in her empty head safe, she persisted.

In the meantime, PC took a lengthy detour and got killed in the ensuing freak accident which involved his horse and a mare.

End result: He didn’t show up.

The poor Princess, unaware of this bone-breaking news, kept her faith.
While she was at it, she lost some weight too. No one bothered though as she wasn’t suffering from anorexia.

Besides, the worst that could happen was some modeling agency landing up at her doorstep and window-shopping her. It didn’t matter who rescued her as long as she was loved by the idea of freedom. Whatever that means.

Meanwhile, weeks grew into months and months got substituted by years and eventually time lost track of itself.

Neverthemore, the frail Princess was still lonely with no Twitter timeline to pour her frustration on nor Facebook friends to photoshop her emotions with.

It was advisable to learn something new like cooking, gardening or knitting but she simply wasn’t interested. 

Her thoughts were with PC (who should have been alive had he respected equine privacy) and prayed the feeling was mutual.

One afternoon, a frog enters the story timeline and startled her. 

He croaked, “Sweetheart, this is me – the one you’ve been waiting for all these years.”

On witnessing a frog that spoke fluent English, the Princess turned pale and was about to faint before she blurted out, “Are you my PC?”

This abbreviated question knotted frog’s long tongue and infuriated him, “Now who the fcuk is PC?”

Having a pair of ears that weren’t subject to harsh words, she got scared and instantly replied, “Prince Charming!”

The frog smiled like they aren’t supposed to on Animal Planet and was relieved to say, “Yeah! That dude’s me.”

There was a long awkward silence and a longer staring contest between the two before the restless frog interrupted: “Well, this is the part where you kiss me and we live happily ever after.”

Taking the cue, she lifted him up on her soft palm and closed her to eyes to oblige. At this very instance, the inevitable happened. 

She turned into a frogess and there was no way to go back other than live croakily ever after.

Intoxicated?

Woke up at 10 ... with a Hangover from the previous day ..


A headache soo bad that I was sooo close entitling myself as Psyduck.

I do not complain though, it was worth the booze the day before


Also with a bane ache, I woke up with the craving Urge to booze again


So By 12pm, when I felt a lil better.


I called up 3 of those same peeps, from the previous day, to meet up and Jam again


And it turns out I was not the only one with the Urge.


Soo By AFTERNOON.. we all plan to meet up and get insober again ..

.....
By 1 , I leave my place... with an inebriate plan 


On My way to it  .. I started to think about a few random thingies

....
Like how I NEVER used to Booze... and How I thought I never will.. and then, what got me started with it.

Then Songs from Sharabi, Karam(Subhash Ghai flick, Some Awesome drunken songs its got)..
Songs By Wiz Khalifa, FUN, Kid Rock etcetra
All of their Daaru Classics i would murmer..

ALSO, what would race through my mind are some extracts from Madhushaala, A treat for a Poem lover.. A Ball for a Drinker Poem Lover

Extracts like This one.

My grandpaa's favourite..


मदिरालय जाने को घर से चलता है पीने वाला ।
किस पथ से जाऊं? असमंजस में वो भोला भाला ।।
अलग अलग पथ बतलाते सब .. पर मई यह बतलाता हूँ ।
राह पकड़ तू एक चलाचल .. पा जायेगा मधुशाला ।।

Anyway.. So Plan's all set for Jugheads, Powai.

Jugheads, The Unrestaurant based on the Character of the Archies Comic books.(Actually It just tries and Imitates Pop Tates)

Jugheads, The place that once was our Casa..

Jugheads, The Place where we once sneaked out of, without paying the Bill. and THEN never came back..(Some Story it is. A different post about that, some other Day)

When it came to our knowledge that the whole management had changed.. a long time back.


we went back there again. Thinking that it would be safer now.


And I donno why am i speaking so much bout the place.


coz Jugheads has nothing do with with the Post..

.....
Only that Jugheads was the place, where the moment we placed our Derriere on the chair..


We read the Notice and learned from the manager.. That it was Dry-day, meaning No Alcohol availability, anywhere in Mumbai TODAY

We looked at each others Faces .. Commiserate, Pitiful Faces .. that had a Doggy like Look.
The look that the Dog throws at you, when he's promised a bone.. and does not get one.

But We were Maddogs.. The mercenary kind.
In laymen terms.. We were Tom and Jerry's Spike.. and Not Richie Rich's Dollar.
Folks born in 90's and who spent their life facing The TV in the previous decade know what I'm talking about.

SPIKE

DOLLAR

If I had to persuade the two girls, who had come with us to go show their Titties, to get us some booze, I would've done it!!
Uhh.. I just chose not to .. *ducks*


We could'nt just give up though..
Coz There's this thing about getting drunk..
If you leave ur place with a mind that you wanna get Tipsy today ..
Then, NOTHING ELSE can content you .. throughout the day..
Not even Philadelphia Cheesecake ..

Anyway, So while we were browsing our options viable for today..
We thought .. What is Cheap, Easy Available, and Can get us Nice and Tipsy..?
THEN, we all came to a common decision, BHANG ..
We then said it in Chorus "BHANGG!!!" ...

Now none of us knew how to get hold of it...(Just Tagged it 'Easily Available' for the heck of it)

If we've ever had Bhang before .. It was on Holi.
and at different different places..

So for starters we went down and asked the Panwala, just outside Jugheads.. If he had any Bhang on him...
The Panwala, looked more like JAY BARUCHEL, Remember Jay Baruchel?
That Guy from The sorceror's apprentice? No? 
Ok ..Danger from the 'Million Dollar Baby' ? Niente?
Okay! That Loser from 'She's Outta My League' ?
Just see The Pic ---->

So The Panwala HAS Bhang.. which he sells in a Gutkaa like small packet, The packets have it in powdered form.. which you mix in a fluid and swallow it.. 
I took 2 of those.. Rs.3 per packet.


When in suspicion I asked, Is this thing Real?

He said NO to that..
He said "NAKLI BHANG hai.. Lekin aapka Pet Saaf Ho Jayega"
"Abey, Jamalgota maanga terese?.. Bhang dey" I gently reverted.

He said he had nothing else...


I looked at the Pirated Bhang in my hand ..


Considering No other option at that point.. We gave this a GO!


Antique quote 'Beggars are not Choosers'.. Know what i mean?


So now..
✔ BHANG
❒ Liquid to put the Bhang in
❒ The Place

So we again, we took a vote( I called all the Shots) to have it in Chaas.. AMUL MASTI CHAAS precisely, and Outside the Joggers Park, Hiranandani

We got the packet out .. mixed it in the Chaas.. Swaad Anusar.

Followed the ancient tradition of CHEERS'ing  by smashing the Chaas cartons with one another .. and exuberantly took a sip.

.....
After having it..!
There was'nt a minute change in the taste..

If anything.. It started tasting like the Chaas from my natives, We term it 'Maathaa'..


That look on our faces, THE ONE YOU MAKE WHEN YOUR OPTIMISM TROLLS YOU.. 


I took the bhang powder out n licked it a lil bit


It tasted like Chaat Masala.


It was such a Piss off ..


I felt sooo Trolled.. that Mussadi Lal would LOL me out..

"PET SAAF HO JAYEGA?"... Is that what Bhang is ..some sort of Hajma?

He turned the heavy abuser switch On in me!

Nor did my friends vaguely feel any kind of a Kick or remotely something like that...

Soo We just mixed the whole thing in our Chaas... and Gulped it down the throat...

AND THEN, There... I felt a slight something, I'd say like a Fart in a Windstorm..

and I recalled, How unlike everything else, Bhang takes time to get to you.

.....
Still Sitting on the curb, outside the Joggers park..


ALL OF US>>

Not Talking to each other.. JUSSST Sitting there..

Past cursing the Panwala..

A lotta stuff started running through our minds.. All the relevant and more than that the Irrelevant, Misclassifed, mismatched stuff

From Euro Cup Final.. to Pranab Mukherjee's nominaton for the Prez of India


From Kunnal Nayyar, Koothrapali from #TBBT marrying a Supa Hot Chick .. to Higg's Boson Particle..

From Bhola Zarda/Gutka .. to The Panwala who trolled Us..

Well ..Did he??

I did not feel intoxicated/high .. nor did anyone.. But a different form of sluggishness entered in..

Locking all my joints.. I sure felt like ...Stephen Hawking.
Ok Overrated?.. 
maybe Hritik Roshan from Guzarish.


It actually felt kinda good..

Sitting there, I started to recollect a TV series that used to come, when I was a kid.. where to finish a certain mission, the girl would stop Time, using some cards. Cardcaptors I think..

Fictional or Real.. I just wanted the time to stop.

I had not felt soo quite and calm for a very long time..!

Serenity and Nature had wedded that very moment ..

AND THEN...
__________________________________________
Why is the Dog staring at me? The Dog has a Mark on his lower left side of the Face. I've seen that kind of Mark ..
It was on My friend Kevin's face..
But Kevin died 4 yrs back!!
Is it my Friend Kevin?? Reincarnated..!
He's the only one I know who had a mark like that..and He loved dogs..
The Dogs Eyes look a lot like Kevin's .. i.e. Invisible from a Distance.

Or is it just some mad dog ... whose come for my vintage one rupee Coin from 1947. He sure is staring at my Bag .. that has the wallet .. that has the coin.. But how does he know I have a coin in there..! 
Crap..! They are dogs .. They can see and hear evrything in an out, stuff that even humans cant
Half of CID cases they show on TV are solved by Dogs ..


<the dog goes away>

*looks around*

___________________________________________
Oh Fuck a Huge Dick in The Sky ..! (In The shape of the clouds)
Now it Diminishes ...
Is there some kinda divine message for me in there?
Oh Yes..! I played a Prank with the Chicken Butcher's Kid, from the slums the other day..
The Butchers gonna fucking Castrate me.. for it
Can we get the Insurance done for Testicles?
People have gotten it done for different different parts of their body.
I saw it on the newspaper the other day.
With or without insurance.. How do u join a Cut Penis or a Testicle man??
Crap! I don wanna be a eunuch *Tensed*

<looks around to divert himself from the thought>
_____________________________________
Why is every Building in hiranandani of same colour..? Muddy Colour.
Its like everyone's come to school with the common uniform ...
<Looks At THE BUSINESS TOWER >(A glass tower,which is not of the same brown mud colour)
Iska Birthday hai aaj..!



The One friend amongst us .. who has a liver of a Pirate, and had real good control over alcohol and other broken things... somehow managed to drag the other 3 of us inside the Park.

<watching people jog>
 __________________________________________
Look at that Fat guy .. Fat as Fuck .. Fatter than the nutty professor himself .. He's gnna start panting, when he's just half crossed the Ground
__________________________________________
A Lady skinier than Kate Moss also comes to Jog.. Why? she definetly works in a circus, and is made to pass through hoops as small as the ring.

<After a few other visual encounters>


*tears out the grass*

The Mud beneath the Grass came out ..
Spoiled my shirt, n Jeans. Filthified it..


The friend sitting beside tells me "Uthke Saaf Karle nah?"


*Avoids*

If i could get up and tidy my attire.
then I could get everyone up and run 'em to their Chores, Their Homes, Dinner Together or whteva ..
But
'Cleanliness' Nerve and 'On The Move' Nerve .. I had neither of 'em .!

We just stayed there... Staring at whatever was served in front of the Eye.

Stayed there till 8:30.. doing what we were doing..

Imagine SITTING AT A PLACE FOR HOURS.. Not even moving a Leaf.. The Ass wasnt complaining either.

Just then, my Father rings me.. and tells me I have to cum home soon.

The fear of getting screwd rushed my adrenaline.. but only to an extent, the Bhang allowed it.

I still felt very Sluggish..

It took me 10 minutes to get on my feet .. n bout 30 minutes 2 get everyone on their Hoofs

The way we walked out of the Park, We resembled Penguins.

Now.. The Facedown... 
Facing my father..


After you watch al the Teen movies.. 
You start to expect.. YOU START TO WISH, that your life TOO, was soo cliched
You enter your place Drunk..


Your father "Son..Wait, why are you so late? Are you drunk again?"
You're Like "Why dont you stop bothering me? Gimme my space.. Dad"
Father does not say another word... Keeps Mum.. 
The following morning.. Bygones are Bygones.. 

But My Papa is nuin like it ... He's an orthodox belligerent man..


Would kill me.. if I cross a line.. Which apparently I HAVE.. on whatsoever basis you classify..!

I ring the Bell.. 
The song playing in my mind... #S&M 


"I Maybe Bad... But I'm perfectly God At it" - Rihanna & My Father.

He opens the door..




-"Where the Hell have you been?"
-"I was at Hiranandani, Paa"
-"Why? I have warned you ... Buff-Buff-Buff-Buff-Puff-Puff-Blah-Puff-Blah-Puff-Blah-Puff-Buff-Buff-Boobs-Buff-Puff-Puff-Puff Phuss Have I Not?"
-"Uhhhhhgg.. Yeaa Paa"
-"Then why is it that everytime .. Blupprr-bluff-buff-buff-puff-buffle .. Huh?"
-"Haan Papa"
-"Kya 'Haan Papa'?? Wht did i ask you? __________________________________________
He's got hair on his ears...!
OMG!! how come I never noticed this all these years.
Look at them.. Erect Hair on the Auditory Area..
Does it serve the same function as Nasal Hair? Saving the Nose with with all the Crap.
So hair on the ears saves him frm hearing to all the Bullshit he does nt want to hear.. Whooaa!! Cool.
BUT Can he not even hear the CRAP tat he talks at times..
Or does it just Mute when he blabbers crap.

-"Anoop. answer me"
__________________________________________
I don remember if I'v seen this on anyone else ..
Last one must be Dumbledore. i suppose..
With hair on every friggin inch of the body and and Sardar Tara singh, mulund nagar sevak.


"Get him outta my sight"- My Father Roared
-"Why? You think I'm Drunk? ....Here

<makes him smell his breathe>
.... BURRPP!! "
<A milkish burp on his face> 


I was made to go in my room after that
where the moment I hit the Bed. I was Dead

लोपदगामिनी द्वार

Do this, atleast once in ur lifetime ...


Get on a Fast Mumbai Local Train .. which will not halt for atleast 4 stations.


Stand at the Door..!


Face Towards the direction the Train is moving ..


Now, because The Train is not going to halt for next 4 stations.. it picks up extreme speed.


Your Hair is carressed backwards..


Your clothing shivers like its caught Pneumonia


You can barely open your eyes ..(Make sure.. you still have to look Forward.. The direction in which the train was moving)

The Train travels so fast.. Its like you're in one of those Time Travelling Machines..


Like, When the train stops.. It'll be 2030..
Speaking of.. 
Ever thought what would it be like..!
2030
THE FUTURE...


If I were to picture it ... I'd imagine 2030 would be a Conclusive Year .. Conclusion to the Big Shot Conundrums, this year... will be a Done Deal by 2030

For example ...
*=*The Biggest Mystery On TV .. and amongst everyone, who live on Sitcoms ...
How did Ted Fucking meet his children's Mother...

Soo this is how I see it.. 
In 2030,
Ted's daughter is Strangling Ted to death, coz after all the blabbering.. all the Irrelevant crap bout his Lame group.. All the Bro Code.. PlayBook.. Broath.. Lemon Law.. More laws and amendments than there are in the Constitution..
Their Hook ups.. Break Ups .. Patch Ups.. that had remotely nothing to do with her mother..
Now, Ted tells her..
.
.
He does not know her mother .. It was just another random girl he banged during Barney's just another Masquerade party .. after they were drunk
To make the sex, more kinky.. They never removed their masks.
And at some random day ..
After a year ...
A Baby is dropped at his door .. 
Like Mail..


..........
*=* THE WINTER FINALLY CAME ...! #GameOfThrones




*=* Two and a half Men .. are Finally THREE COMPLETE MEN



*=* Manmohan Singh died long back ..
Cause of Death:- Viral Throat Infection
Nobody knew he was suffering from it .. Not even his Family.. coz apparently the symptoms include 'Inconvenience in talking .. Hoarseness of Voice .. Unclear Vocals'..!


The Present Prime Minister is Chamaar Abdullah ..
Omar Abdullah's Evil Cousin.
Rahul Gandhi still having a blast at the Dalits.. Free Food, Free stay, Free Dalit Sex




*=* Apple CEO Tim Cook also Dead ..
Cause of Death:- Piles ..
That cursed CEO Chair .. eats people ..
Apple still releases iOS 99


*=* Aishwarya Rai never got slimmer after childbirth..
Abhishek Bachchan convincing her daughter.. that LIC Agent was'nt his primary career from the beginning .. 
He was an actor for real in the past ..!
#FailedAttempts


*=* Sachin Tendulkar Retired long back ...!
After Rajya sabha membership .. He is now the 'Nagar Sevak' of Kaju Pada, Kurla.
...
Not really..!  No..! Just Kiddin ^_- 
Its Indira Nagar..!
I know .. Posh..

and yeaa Kambli still bitches over it ..!



*=* People still eating each other up over Manchester United and Chelsea FC ...
and India still did not make it to Football.
Their FIFA ranking goes parallel with the ageing of the Salvatore Brothers ..! #VampireDiaries
Last Time i checked in 2011 .. Salvatore Brothers were 162 yrs old .. So was India's FIFA ranking.. and its been 18 years since then.
Do the Math
__________________________________________________________


The Fictional way of doing this, Imagining things, while standing at the Coach Door.. is Fun ..
Big Time.

and I've had my part of fun doing this a lodda times ..
At times .. Its Time travel ..
At times .. I convince myself.. I'm Flying.. like BuzzLightyear


2 ∞ & →


by just bending a lil 90 deg. towards the door.
It also gives it that metaphoric feel, of 'Azzad Parinde' ... #FreeBird #Udaan #Pankh #YourMom #NasalHair #IDonnoWhatAmITypingAnymore 

OR

At times .. Just Singing
Sing out loud ..
Ofcourse when there are a few/no people around..
When you sing it, facing in the direction The Train is going ..
The wind kinda reverberates back the sound .. and it gives an acoustic feel to it ..
That makes you both ... The वक्ता/गायक and The श्रोता ..! which is like sooo Khool.. :D

Moreover.. I sing songs that have had a [Travelling sequence/ Lyrics Pertaining to a Travel] in the Movie ..

♫ Hum jo chalne lagey.. chalne lagey hai yeh raaste ♫

♫ Raahi ka toh Kaam hai Chalta hi jaye ♫

♫ Yeh Hawayein.. Gun Gunaein, Pooche Tu Hai Kahan? ♫

♫ Do Pal Ruka.. Khabon ka Carvan.. ♫

Above All ..

♫ Gaadi Bula Rahi Hai .. Seeti Bajaa Rahi hai .. Chalna hi zindgi hai ..chalti hi jaa rahi hai ♫
(No! Actually.. Not Above All.. Infact have heard just once... )

This Verbal Playlist .. at times is a Ball for me .. during my 30 minute Train Travel ..

...
Childlike? Amateur? Lame?

One can term it whatever they wish like ..
but I admit .. I'm a 'Fancy Day Dreamer' ..!

....


There was just this One time .. when things went quite differently..!


In a pretty upset mood ..
I Get in The Train at 11:30..

Standing at the door of the coach ..
Facing the Same direction .. As always...
Dealing with the Same Speed.. As always...

Song Playing in my Earpiece

♫ Abhi Na Jao, Chodd kar.. Ke dil Abhi Bharaa Nahi ♫

in a very dim volume ..


Was not really listening to the song .. but, it was still keepin me in peace ..


I started to look around. .
...
*=*A Man walking on the Railway Track... lost in his space .. (Weird Man Cave)


*=* Men fixing tracks .. in this poor heat .. what will they get by the end of the day? About 300-500 bucks .. Enough to feed a family ??

*=* People Pooping on side tracks


*=* An Old Man eating stuff out of the Garbage

Then...
A station passes by..
Where,

*=* A Group of Folks .. are chilling while they wait for their train to come ..
*=* A Shop with a young kid .. who must be 8 or 9 by age
*=* A Lady Police officer crying by the Pillar at the end of the platform

....

Inside The Train

*=* Women begging with their babies
*=* A 5 yr Old begging with 3yr old AND approx a 6 mnth baby ..!
*=* A Wannabe, in Monkey-Wash jeans .. Duplicate Rayban Glares
A Lame Ed Hardy T shirt.. with EdHardy Stiched on it.. making every deliberate attempt to get a girl.. but wont ever get one..!
*=* A Guy on the phone, calling out his galfrnd with weird nicknames .. possibly having his 1st relationship.. which he's pretty much gonna Fuck up..!
(Marshall and Lily are Fictional)
*=* An man in his 30's ... keepin to himself.. who was tormented by his wife again for Money( 'Expenses' - in their Currency )
__________________________________________________________

EveryOne of us .. carry a story on our backlog ..
While Looking around.. when you come across just one story, that makes yours look petty
in Comparison ..


You wanna turn back and take another good look at it.


But its too late.. 
There's always this limited window to everything ..
Explaining this metaphorically by The Train example..!
In that Speed of that Train ... I could only catch a Glimpse of everything that I mentioned above ..
For barely 3-5 seconds ..
Ofcourse except the one's that were in the Train..
...
A Small Limited window of Time, and Opportunity
You could either Grab it .. or You could just Stand by .. and mourn about it..


Whatever you do .. Keeps you to the Hang of it for the rest of your life ..


Soo You either stand at the Coach door ..

OR

Just Pull the Chain ... Stop the Train

IF ONLY... I had a Firm Mind ..!

MAY 5, Apocalyptic Year(Rumoured)
________________________________

Back home.... at 9:00 P.M(T.V. Primetime), from "The Avengers"

The Movie that was most awaited ..

The kinda Movie.. that sorta gives you an adrenaline kick ...

THE AVENGERS 

Sitting on my chair, in my room... I Sulk thinking of everyone.. The Hulk.. Iron Man.. Thor.. Hawkeye..

Everybody and Everything, that may have possibly accelerated my pulse rate, that very moment.. while I ws watching the movie..

and While I'm still chuckling over the part.. Where Hulk beats the Shit outta Loki .. 

Cartoonized image of the shot from the Movie

I keep *tilting my head down*...


I see a Notebook on my lap.. and i get a series of realisations...

Firstly, I sat NOT to fancy the Black "Hot" Widow... BUT to study...

Second...  My Father did warn me.... that i'd be in the midst of the movie for real long.. jeopardizing the 'Rhythm' of my preparation...

and Lastly, THERE WAS NEVER ANY 'RHYTHM' OF PREPRATION.. THAT I WAS EVER IN...

Even though my exams were to start in a week ...


I Had  NO... What we call as 'Pre-examination jitters' in laymen terms..

I mean i do get scared.. I'm Null and Void with my preparation... but I'm just soo lazy to make an effort.. For a change..

Perpetuating a Turtle Stereotype... Thats Me..!

For the Heck of exams... I'm staring at the book now ... like a Scarecrow on a cropfield ... OR like a Dragonfly or a Damselfly(who have cylindrical eyeballs so dey can't move their eyeballs.. soo you kinda poop your pants, when they stare you )...

Trying NOT to not think about THE awesome flick, I just lived.


I Start Murmering....

"An Atom in a Lower energy state E1.. may absorb the incident photon, and get excited to energy state E2.."
.
.
"An Atom in a Lower energy state E1.. may absorb the incident photon, and get excited to energy state E2 .."

.

.

.

(goes through WhatsApp messages on phone)

..."An Atom.. An Atom .. "

  *Forgets*

  *sneaks in the Book*

"....in a Lower energy state E1 may absorb an incident excited state...."

...

In Just about 5 minutes... I'm back with the glimpses of the movie again ..
and this time.. Not another Look at the Book...!


While I'm talking about it... i just recollect how Wake Up Sid! started the very same way..
Infact I really feel that Me and Siddharth mehra(Sid) are soo much alike .. except he's richer and has better hair.

Otherwise Ditto^


Anyway, So by 10:15,

I get a text on my phone reminding me of the Chelsea-Liverpool FA Cup Final, which I had completely forgotten..

So I stood up the chair .. threw my book on the table and walked towards the TV room..

As i reached the door... Out of Pity and Despair for myself.. I come back and pick my book.. and take it with me!


As i switched the match on.. Chelsea had already scored a goal.. Ramires scored it for Blue's.. and Half time was only 3 minutes away


....

So Its Half Time....

and According to the general drill..

If one has the book with 'em while watching something like THIS.. they are supposed to study during breaks.. and half time's.


I looked at my watch and it shows 10:23...

Soo of all days in a year .. Exams are those Holy days .. I get superstitious about..!

Coz starting up on an odd time like this, did'nt feel good to me.. and I thought,

The Goddess Of Wisdom and Prosperity might just get annoyed and furious, coz I neglect the importance of knowledge, and I feel, I cn start up at whatsoever time, i feel like ..

(Above statement is fictious, It has no resemblance to reality whatsoever.... :D)

Soo i plan to start at 10:30, an Even Rounded-off Time..

So meanwhile i switch channels, and i see 'The Dark Knight' is on.. Which needless to say .. stopped my swapping of channels..

The harvey dent-joker hospital scene..

One of my Many favourite scenes from the movie.. 

The Harvey Dentt- Joker Hospital Scene

JOKER-"Upset the established order and everything becomes Chaos..
           I'm an agent of Chaos...
           Oh.. and you know the thing about chaos... Its Fair" ...

By the time the hospital blew up(i.e. when the scene ends..)

I din notice that 10:30 had passed away...(not that i intended to)

...

So now what i do is i just mark myself another time on the Clock..

Another 'Rounded-Off Even Tym'

and this nested process of rounding off time .. see's its fate as the Half Time of the Game ends..!


Game Starts..!

Very Vibrant.. Impish play by Liverpool...

Didier drogba still manages to score another one for chelsea..

That makes 2 fo chelsea..

Andy Caroll from Liverpool enters d game and scores form 1 for Liverpool...

But In The End, The Blues take it..!


Very Intriguing Game. I dont remember Blinking my eye...  

soo Studying was way outta question.

Blue's Holding The FA Cup.. after winning

I watched it till the very end .. till they lifted the Cup..

*Bliss* :)

....

Now It was 12:30 on the clock.[ An Even Rounded Off Time ]

I switched off the T.V. .. sat there, thinking... Now i should study.. I MUST study ... Atleast A BIT..!


So #NowBlabbering

"An Atom in a Lower energy state E1.. may absorb the incident photon, and get excited to energy state E2 "
.
.
"An Atom... in a Lower energy...." (looks for some paper scrap around) .. "Lower energy may absorb an incident .."
(Tears a Strip of paper from the back of The Book... )
.
.
"An Atom in a Lower energy state E1.. may absorb the incident photon, and get excited to energy state E2 "( Voice gets dimmer)
.
.


( writes his name in 8 different patterns.)

...*squealing of the defination stops* ...


...My cell rings...

A certain part in me that wishes its God calling up to say " Get Out Bitch... You're excused today as well" ..( Chetan Bhagat "One Night At Call Centrer" Shit )

...

But even better..
It was the gal.. I'd been hitting on for a while..

Her Text- " Hey.. I'm Bored.. you free? you can talk?? "

My Reply- ... Oh! yes ofcourse..!!  .. I'm Free... Totally.."

She called.

The Conversation lasted for for like 2 hours

After all the shmuck, n sappy talk when i keep the fone down .. I see that mute paper bitch a.k.a The Book .. staring at me again!


I felt i gotta study now atleast ... I have to.. coz if it goes like this .. I Flunk for sure! ..

But every fibre in my body wants to sleep rite now at 2:30[ Again... An Even Rounded-off time ]

But i still open the book..

And I'm Muttering again…


"An Atom in a Lower.." .... "This is Crap.. I'm going to bed.."
....

While I'm in Bed ... Gazing the Orient "Rotating" PSPO... on the ceiling..

I feel remorse.. for have wasted another day ...

I make a promise to myself that Tomorrow morning is a fresh start ...

I'v fooled around enough .. So much that even a 20 hr study schedule cannot make up for it..!

I'm gonna get up at 6:00 A.M. and start from scratch ...


I get up from my place set an alarm for 6:00 am ... and then Sleep in Peace..!


....

But, The Whole Skit never turns out the way its planne the Next Morning ...

The Truth is... that i made the same promise to myself At Night .. AGAIN...

I literally got up the bed .. and set an alarm for early morning ... AGAIN..
and,

The Alarm Clock gets Trolled the following morning ... Again n Again n AGAIN...!

Infact i make a laugh about it every morning ... that how did I possibly even think .. i'd get up at 6 o' clock... TO STUDY... Tats possible in No Parallel Or Antiparallel Universe


...

When I'm Free from all this shit, I get real choosy about my Routine, Hangout, ... PEOPLE to hang out with..!


But at times like these, Anyone or anything that saves me from This ....

is God send to me..


Coz, sometimes I'm just staring at that thing for like hours.. but nothing gets in..


Like my conscious mind and my subconscious mind are nailing somebody back there, all the time.. Medulla Oblongata maybe ( I'v owayz felt... its a perfect porn name)


I really wish i get one of those tablets from Bradley Cooper's movie 'Limitless' .. where everything he's even just glanced once in his life.. becomes his Primary memory ....

Bat Shit Cool .. huh?? :D


....

Its not that i'm a shithead ... I'm good and intellect at soo many levels. .

Its just that the slightest distraction is all i need to get carried away...

Today it is Avengers, FA Cup, n Phone Calls ..

Tomorrow, it may be Poker, Pool and Booze..


I simply Lack conviction n determination to get this thing over with .. and why do i Lack it??


JE NE SAIS PAS!! (French)


But I strongly feel ... like Madness.. even determination is like gravity ...

All it needs is a lil push ..


Maybe the kind of push that Billy madison was given, by his Teacher/Galfriend :p